meowdate: (Default)
I am at my goddamned wits end.
What on this accursed planet must I do to actually connect with someone?
Why, when I finally accept to marry the ONLY person in my life who ever offered to marry me without conditioning it on my popping out a kid (even 2 women, when they both afaik had perfectly good uteruses themselves!!) for him or her?
Why do I marry this one person who promised me connection to discover that Aspies are good at making promises they cannot keep (assuming I have read the symptoms right...)?!

I know that one should never marry when suicidal, but really, what were my other choices?
Particularly given the promise that "I will be your doctor" meant someone on this horrible planet finally wants to engage with me and help me figure out how to feel whole.

What is worse is that now even the idea of making a difference in this fucked up world no longer really matters to me anymore. I start to wonder if I could ever have made any difference anyway, and whether sticking it out and working for good was not all just a waste of time and energy?

Shira

(nearly 6 months later, matters are worse...) Read, Write, Dream, Teach !

ShiraDest
18 March, 12016 HE
meowdate: (Default)
Don’t Step on a Crack -this thriller is more bones than meat.

In his plot-driven thriller, Patterson at least tries to add meat by starting with two wonderful marriages, alas for the women. Perhaps they might have given the benefit of their experience, had they lived, to an idea that does have meat, if a bit of grisle.Community Match-making, or, The Marriage Cooperative: an idea worth (re-)trying?

My great-grandmother had a potholder that said “Cookin’ Lasts, Kissin’ Don’t” -the idea being that marriage is for life. The idea is that single people looking for spouses form a group and take turns being the match-maker for each other.

That should help committment and companionship , the things that last, guide the decision to marry, rather than a possibly short-lived feeling of love that may evaporate in hard times.

Each single person would find 4 trusted long-term friends/family to form his/her “marriage panel”. That panel would be empowered to look over the match-maker’s possible matches for the single person, and then meet with the marriage panels of the possible dating candidates. (Obviously, the single can always over-ride the panel’s suggestions.) The match-maker and both marriage panels then meet and discuss the match before the two singles are introduced to each other. That way at least 8 people who know the two singles have a chance to agree on whether those two could form a healthy happy marriage. That should reduce the stress for each single person, and there are 9 people guarranteed to support the marriage.

Thoughts?
Shira Destinie
Gregorian Date: Saturday, 6 September, 2014
MEOW Date : Wednesday, 6 September, 12014 H.E. (Holocene Era, aka Human Era)

https://network23.org/communitycoop/2014/09/06/dont-step-on-a-crack-use-the-marriage-cooperative-instead/
meowdate: (Default)
Even if you Fall in Love for Life , marriage takes work and committment.

After talking with some friends, I think I should try again to explain my idea for a community Marriage Cooperative (fka the Arranged Marriage Cooperative), a project which would create a coop, a MarriageCoop, like any coop (Cooperative), but with the goal of arranging marriages for its members. Each single person would

1. ) agree to eventually take a turn or rotation as the Matchmaker for the group,
and

2.) Choose 4 people whom he or she would trust to ‘vet’ potential dates, if those 4 people, agreeing to be that person’s Marriage Panel, further agree to help support and work out any problems with the couple, as a supportive community or family would do.

Each single person would meet with the Matchmaker, describing the kind of person he or she is looking to marry. The Matchmaker then picks several potential matches and shows them to the single person and that person’s Marriage Panel, who agree on a person to meet for a date. The Marriage panel then meets with the Marriage panel of the other single, and if both Panels and the Matchmaker agree, then the two singles should meet, then talk to their panels, and see if they want to continue getting to know one another. After a certain period of time, they get married, and there are automatically at least 8 people who have agreed to take on the role of close community members in supporting this couple.

That way both the single person and the community get voice and committment in the process of creating healthy sustainable marriages, which strengthen both the individual and the community.

This is meant to be fully inclusive of the entire community, as even the Village Idiot has an important role in every community. Even people who were formerly abusive, or formerly abused, can and should form part of the Cooperative, given strong supervision and support from their Marriage Panel members. Some singles will have to be vetted and supervised, taught and coached, perhaps monitored, to ensure compliance with non-abusive norms, so that they learn to both give and ask for their needs to be met in healthy ways. This strengthens both them and the community, and forms a more inclusive and reslient society which can channel and help the flowering of each person´s gifts and potential, through fostering healthy contributive cooperative relationships both personal and communal. This is what community is all about.

Thoughts?
Community Cooperation Shira,
Gregorian Date: Monday, 1 September, 2014
MEOW Date : Friday, September 1, 12014 H.E. (Holocene Era, aka Human Era)

https://network23.org/communitycoop/2014/09/01/the-answer-is-73-community-marriage-cooperative-project-the-community-alternative-to-dating/
meowdate: (Default)
La Cooperativa de Matrimonio Para Todos

La Cooperativa Matrimonia se trata de una cooperativa, es decir un grupo de gente igalitaria, que quieren ayudar en arreglarse matrimonios para los miembros sin pareja. Cada soltero debe consentir a dos cosas:

1.) cada soltero debe trabajar en un turno (digamos por un mes o dos meses) como arreglador matrimonial. Este será la person que tiene los perfiles o quien reune los datos para los solteros.

2.) cada soltero debe reunir a 4 persona de confianza para actuar mas o menos como familia de elección, es decir como consejeros. Estas 4 personas a.) ayudarán a consejar y eligir pareja para el soltero y b.) quedarán en la vida de la pareja después del matrimonio par ayudar los maridos a mantener su matrimonio y integrarse en la comunidad. Este ayudará tanto a la pareja como a la comunidad.

https://network23.org/communitycoop/2014/08/27/la-cooperativa-de-matrimonio/

March 2016

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