Sick of trying to connect -any suggestions?

I am at my goddamned wits end.
What on this accursed planet must I do to actually connect with someone?
Why, when I finally accept to marry the ONLY person in my life who ever offered to marry me without conditioning it on my popping out a kid (even 2 women, when they both afaik had perfectly good uteruses themselves!!) for him or her?
Why do I marry this one person who promised me connection to discover that Aspies are good at making promises they cannot keep (assuming I have read the symptoms right...)?!

I know that one should never marry when suicidal, but really, what were my other choices?
Particularly given the promise that "I will be your doctor" meant someone on this horrible planet finally wants to engage with me and help me figure out how to feel whole.

What is worse is that now even the idea of making a difference in this fucked up world no longer really matters to me anymore. I start to wonder if I could ever have made any difference anyway, and whether sticking it out and working for good was not all just a waste of time and energy?

Shira

(nearly 6 months later, matters are worse...) Read, Write, Dream, Teach !

ShiraDest
18 March, 12016 HE

Childrens Right’s as Human Rights in Popular Culture: do studies change things?

Starting a study of Childrens Right’s as Human Rights in Popular Culture:

1. Astérix en Hispanie (le quatorzième album de la série)
et Astérix : Le Domaine des dieux
2. Sihirli Annem (esp. ep. 45 or 46?)
3. Harry Potter

With focus = ways that these shows empower kids to collaborate in preventing the abuse of others, and showing/understanding how this aid affects future adults ?

If such research has not yet been done,
I need to search the background literature (will need journal access via university libraries) and then figure out a methodology -a simple one like case studies. 

But what would such a study add to the body of knowledge, and more importantly, to policy decision-making?
ShiraDest